i got your phone message. i'm not calling you back because i don't want to talk to you. to be quite frank, you are fucking insane. that it would take you 2 and half hours to calm down is insane. that you give a shit about the state of my armpits is insane. your priorities are totally fucked. i am shaving my armpits for saturday for one reason: i love dominic and he asked me to in order to end this ridiculous conflict. you are obviously unable to get over your fucking insanity for his sake.
i am still in total fucking awe that this was even an issue. you're a fucking asshole. fuck you.
-al
3.13.2003
brideshead revisited
i don't actually know what that is.
i just talked to my brother. he said that his fiancee would 'really like it' if i shaved. it's so frustrating. i don't see why they care. the pictures the pictures. i'm not going to be putting my arms up in the pictures. i don't know. i'd kind of decided to just not shave. say i forgot about the issue. kind of a lie, but i wouldn't have thought about shaving had no one said anything to me. it hadn't come up since they asked me to be in the wedding. why do peopl ehave to care about stupid shit and why do i have to care that they care?
i went to sleep around 8 am today. i started taking my meds at night/erratically and it took me a while to conclude that this is the cause of my current spate of insomnia. not that i don't have insomnia often anyway. but i haven't stayed up that late in a while. the staying up has gotten in the way of my plans each day and made everything kind of surreal. so i'm gonna switch back to taking meds in the day. try to get back on track. because i was doing pretty good.
i'm so addicted to the internet. i realised that i was not doing something social because i needed 'internet time'. this is really fucked up and makes me think that my internet addiction is worse than my tv addiction, though i think that tv is maybe worse for me. at least i can actually talk to people online. really it's message boards that fuck me up. stupid false sense of connection. grrr. i'm so weak.
hm, this is kind of choppy and whatever. but that's how i feel at the moment. my roommate said, 'i would have refused to be a bridesmaid way back', but i couldn't, because when my sister in law tried to back out, everyone flipped out. no. they flipped out. why are people so ridiculous? it's like that whole freedom fries thing. it's just ludicrous.
-al
